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Rave Reviews

"The most comprehensive zombie hunting guide available today! A must-have for any serious zombie hunter."

-Dr. Hugo Pecos, Director
Federal Vampire & Zombie Agency

"Another weapon in humanity's arsenal against the evil undead!"

-Steph Dumais
Zombie Commandos From Hell!

“Enjoy this book {while you can}…because you won't be laughing when the zombies come! A must-have for people with zombie-shelters in their basements, because Armageddon is boring and entertainment is hard to come by in a basement.”

-Ron Cunningham “The Horrorist,” Editor
www.horrorwatch.com

“Five-Star reading!
NEVER GO TO EXTINTION WITHOUT IT!”

-Jorge Carrillo
http://sosestamostodaviavivossos.blogspot.com/

“Raym C. Hensley – with his Zombie Hunter's Guide – has found a new use for the alphabet. An ethical and practical manual for survival in the great Zombie apocalypse. Don’t go to the Mall without it!”

-Tom Sullivan, The Evil Dead,
www.darkageproductions.com

“A wry and erudite tome that belongs on the shelf of every dedicated Zombie Hunter!”

-John McLean
Writer/Director
Z: A ZOMBIE MUSICAL

***

This just in!

Soccer Player Dies on Field & Resurrects!
Fans excited


Ling-Ling The Zombie is tackled on Cup Field for the 23rd time by fellow soccer players Bruno Hathowath and Hermus Eleven.

During a soccer match in Canada Land, player Ling-Ling Chow, a Chinese, (dressed in white in the above picture) was hit in the head by a stray soccer ball. She flopped to the grass in an instant and landed in a wrong way – head turned completely around, then back again. Her arms stretched out to the sun, with fists. Seconds later, she jumped to her feet and moaned rather loudly, running around seemingly blind while adding little jumps here and there. She bit people.

"She was like a backwards kangaroo. Oh Jesus!" cried Tommy Ror, a female fan of soccer. "Or a rabbit with down syndrome. Oh God. Master. Master! You promised ME eternal life! But you give it to the pretty woman!"

Two other players, Bruno Hathowath (seen above with deformed hands), and Hermus Eleven (seen in red), made to sooth her via tackle… On the 50^th tackle, Ling-Ling’s head hit the ground in a questionable manner and fell off, silently. She did not get up.

(Photo donated by Gary Busey)

Staci Wilson Review

Book Review: "The Zombie Hunter's Bible" by Raym C. Hensley

From Staci Wilson,
Your Guide to Horror Books and Movies.
FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!

Guide Rating -

The Bottom Line

Raym C. Hensley's tongue-in-cheek tome about how to find your undead quarry, how to capture and contain them, and how to then put them to good use covers everything from "Ethics: The Hunter's Code" to "Zombie Types" to "Where to Sell Your Zombie".

Laid out like a comprehensive nonfiction how-to book and illustrated with purposely crude drawings, The Zombie Hunter’s Bible is one unique item.

Pros

• Well-written
• Extremely comprehensive & detailed
• Unique content

Cons

• Too scatological
• Out-of-place sexual content

Description

• Illustrated? Yes
• Genre: Zombie horror
• Published by LuLu

Guide Review - Book Review: "The Zombie Hunter's Bible" by Raym C. Hensley

The Zombie Hunter’s Bible is like nothing I have ever read before. It's a great idea and quite comprehensive. Personally, I would have preferred a little more playful humor and little less scatological and sexual detail, but for the diehard zombie fan (is there any other kind?) this book is a definite must-have.

My favorite chapters outline "Zombie Types" (everything covered from cyborg zombies to zombie animals) and "Hunting in Zombie-Infested Territories" (supermarkets, shopping malls, cabins, and so on).

The attention to detail is mind-boggling; there are quite a few subjects — like how to fool the authorities, and retiring your zombie — that I never would have even thought of. -S.W.

* * *

Purchase

"
The attention to detail is mind-boggling!"
-Staci Wilson
About.com

Hunters young & old have now relied on Raym C. Hensley’s THE ZOMBIE HUNTER’S BIBLE for vital information, ranging from killing a zombie, bathing a zombie, to eating a zombie when necessary. Easy to understand, friendly and inspiring, THE ZOMBIE HUNTER’S BIBLE will empower you with all the knowledge you’ll need toward capturing – and understanding – the walking dead.
Read a Sample Chapter

"...A must-have for any serious zombie hunter."
-Hugo Pecos
The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency

Amazing HELLRAISER music box designs! *

That's right, my fiends, the very same box!

But, did you know that there are OTHER boxes??

Go to http://www.pyramid-gallery.com/, featuring the intricately designed music box replicas of French architect, artisan and designer Philip LeMarchand. You can find - amungst others - the box below, called the Jeremiad Enigma "The Box of Woes".

At http://www.pyramid-gallery.com now you TOO can have your very own music box, better known as The Lament Configuration!

-RCH

PS: I can not wait to have one (or ten) of my very own one day!

The ~Zombie Hunter's Bible~ series!

That's right, baby-makers and baby-eaters!

And the show kicks-off on May 15th!

Be there, or be baby-eaten somehow what?

More info here:

www.myspace.com/zombiebible

The ~Zombie Hunter's Bible~ cartoon!

Visit http://www.myspace.com/zombiebible for more updates!

Status:

In pre-production.

Skullgrinder Mag review

"For anyone that enjoys movies such as Evil Dead or ReAnimator!"

-Skullgrindermag


A review of The Zombie Hunter's Bible
from Skullgrindermagazine

ZOMBIES have been a long time staple of the horror genre, from Romero’s classic films to graphic novels. They have been the source of terror and farce, classic moments in pop culture, and cheesy productions we’d all soon forget. Many people consider zombies to be cliche, and that there’s nothing new to the zombie archetype in the Horror genre. Raym C. Hensley proves that there’s still some life to these pieces of fetid meat.

The Zombie Hunter’s Bible is a novel that is written in the stylings of your standard guide book. Raym takes great effort to give this book a pseudo authentic look, and it comes across very well. It would be amusing to leave The Zombie Hunter’s Bible laying out for some unsuspecting friends or relatives to see their reaction.

"The extraordinary detail Raym put into the book is nothing short
of amazing, bringing up things I’d never think of."

To support the pseudo authenticity of the book, Raym develops a well throughout background story about the origin of the Zombie Hunter. Creating a prehistorical account of the first zombie hunter, Raym references pseudo scientific and historical facts to build an almost believable case for the zombie hunter. However, much like a Monty Python skit, there is plenty of dry humor abound, which should make you chuckle. The artist renderings of the cave paintings themselves are enough to dispel, but not discredit the material Raym cleverly presents. This humor contributes to the enjoyablity of the book, and helps separate it from the dry guidebooks it takes some inspiration from. Overall Raym’s origins on the human vs zombie scenario is a refreshing change of pace from the Hollywood standard, and is intelligently handled. Raym knows how to have fun, but also knows the craft of storytelling. Zombies are also something he’s obviously very passionate about, and this comes through in his strong writing.

"Intelligently handled."

In later chapters of the book, Raym delves into giving examples of a variety of Zombie hunter types. This is where I feel his originality on the zombie genre comes shining through, and his humor as well. Although there may be shades of previous movie and book characters, Raym’s zombie hunters are strikingly unique. It also shows that Raym is well versed at creating interesting and unique characters. He also gets into such things as the tools, attire, and training one would need to be a zombie hunter, as well as traits for a good sidekick. One of the more striking things is a section on sexual intercourse involving zombies. Not one to overlook anything there’s also a section involving the eating of zombies as well as using zombies as servants, as well as building your own zombie containment facility.

"Zombies are also something he’s obviously very passionate about,
and this comes through in his strong writing."

The Zombie Hunter’s Bible also includes various ‘legends’ which I found to be entertaining.

Overall I enjoyed The Zombie Hunter’s Bible. The extraordinary detail Raym put into the book is nothing short of amazing, bringing up things I’d never think of. He’s managed to create a book that is both entertaining and humorous. For anyone that enjoys movies such as Evil Dead or ReAnimator, then this book would be to your liking, I feel. Even those who prefer the more serious zombie can take away some good things from this book. I think Raym has nicely balanced both the humor and the horror of the zombies, and has shown that archetype is still a viable part of the Horror genre. And who knows, if a zombie invasion happens, The Zombie Hunter’s Bible may just save your punk ass!

"Raym knows how to have fun,
but also knows the craft of storytelling."

~ZHB - table of contents~

"(The Zombie Hunter's Bible is...) A wry and erudite tome that belongs on the shelf of every dedicated Zombie Hunter!"

-John McLean
Writer/Director
Z: A ZOMBIE MUSICAL

CONTENTS


Preface – Understanding the Zombie 14


CHAPTER ONE
Preparation

The Professional Hunter of THE UNDEAD 19

Ethics – the hunter’s code
A history of hunting
Types
The Legends
Mistakes
Your rights
The future

The Unsafe Zombie 41

Ethics – the zombie code
A history of eating
Zombie types
Legends


Training 56

Skills
Dieting
Weapons
Exercising
Creating your Practice Zombie

Tool Kit 68

Things you need
Things you don’t need

Dress code 70

Choosing the Sidekick 71

Skills
Attitude
Health
Vomiting
The Sidekick’s Code
Pay rate
Insurance
Sample application
Orientation sheet



CHAPTER TWO
The Journey & The Hunt

On the road 78

Vehicle
Rest stops, Allowed
Sleep
Foods
The authorities: “Lies & Diversions”

Searching the Zombie 81

Undead clues

Trapping the Zombie 83

Creating Zombie traps
Containing the zombie
Obtaining the zombie “sample”
Disposal

Fight 88

Proper Zombie Calling
Proper Human Identification
The FEAR of killing
Fighting against a zombie and/or his parts
Forms of Zombie Attack, or: HOW THEY TRICK YOU
Attack Strategies:
—Against single zombie
—Against zombie groups
Zombie decomposition, Results from
Proper ‘Weaponry Transplant’ procedures

Hunting in Zombie Infested Territories 99


Forests
Deserts
Cemeteries
Houses
Mansions
Churches
Supermarkets
Bathrooms
Boats
Mountains
Shopping malls
Cabins


Food 104

What is starvation?
How to properly cook a zombie*
Illness
(*Find yummy zombie recipes on page 208!)

Unleashing your bodily waste 108

Proper fecal matter disposal
Proper urine & fecal matter locations
The perils of bodily waste consumption 110

Sexual intercourse 114

Choosing the right zombie
Protection
Cleaning up


How Zombies View our Dimension 119

Disguising Yourself As A Zombie 122

Rewards & Tribulations
Moaning, Walking, and Eating
A Zombie’s Fashion Sense

How to Develop your Sense of Hearing 127

Living Dead Animals 128

Persona

IF YOU ARE BITTEN 133

A Philosophical theory

Going Home 137

Transporting your zombie
Surprising stops
Police avoidance
Properly walking your zombie toward your home
Handling the Neighbors with Love
—The Female Orgasm 143
—Adding Inches to The Penis 145

Creating your very own Zombie Storage Facility 147

Tools & necessities


CHAPTER THREE
Benefits

The zombie employee 150

Maids
Personal Bather
Security guards

On Selling 153

Where to sell your zombie
What is a good set-price?
The Smart Seller or How not to get scammed


APPENDIX

“The Lone Figure under The Tree” 158
How I met Barbara the Zombie Hunter

Zombie Transformation Agencies 206

Zombie Recipes 208

Retirement 213